Make Up Your Mind and Make It Up as You Go

Thank you for making the decision to read this and taking another step on my search for meaning.

Do you know what’s kind of sad? - How much control we really have over things.

To prove it - right now think of a little tune in your head, now shimmy your shoulders a little bit, wag your finger in the air… nice! See, regardless of where you’re reading this, you were able to switch your focus to do a little dance and take your mind off of everything else for a second. But we often choose to be mopey, or angry, or annoyed.

Even the way that I started this month’s newsletter - “Do you know what’s kind of sad?” What a negative start to a post! I could have said, “do you know what’s awesome?” Or “do you know what’s empowering, or relieving, or exciting … or [fill in positive word]” but my mind resorted to a negative.

The point is, we have way more control over what we think and how we think of those things than we’d like to admit, and when we start to take more control of our thoughts and the lens that we filter our thoughts through, we can control our interpretations and meanings of things in our lives.

Life becomes more fulfilling and meaningful when we are able to take control of the things that are in our control, let go of the things that aren’t, and start acting with more intention.

Making Decisions

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” - Lao Tzu

My whole life I believed there was value in “keeping my options open.” I would have many opportunities simultaneously and open many doors. I thought that simply having the choices laid out in front of me was an accomplishment in itself. The problem was, I would hold those doors open as long as possible without stepping through any of them or until some of those doors naturally closed on their own, forcing me to step through the only one that was left open. I was so scared to step through the door, commit to a decision, and move forward down the potentially wrong path.

There is no power in having choices, the power only lies in making a choice and pursuing it. By keeping all of my doors open, I was actually preventing myself from progressing at all. What I needed to do was step through one of those doors and see where it led and realize that if it happened to be the wrong door, I could always turn around and see if the other doors were still opened. The value of the opportunity only exists if you choose to pursue the opportunity.

This has been a major pressure point in my life, and a continuous work in progress. For those of you that also find themselves in a state of analysis paralysis, you have to realize that progress and achievement can only occur by choosing a direction and following through with it.

As long as the decision isn’t so risky that it’s a matter of life or death, you will be able to discover that the only “wrong choice” is no choice.

Be brave enough to make a decision and give it your all. It might open even more doors that you didn’t know existed - at the very least it will significantly build your confidence to navigate life with ownership and integrity.

Mantra

I offer my gratitude for the blessings that surround me. For the beauty of nature that fills my senses, for the love of family and friends that warms my heart, and for the experiences that shape my soul.

The summertime always brings me mixed feelings. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love the summertime, but it’s the one season that I am hyper aware of its fleetingness.

Rather than focusing on the time ticking away, I will choose to be grateful for what the summertime brings. This mantra sums up the beauty of what the summer brings and reminds me to use gratitude to ground me in the moment.

I’m grateful that the summer allows me to enjoy long, bright, warm days outside in nature. I have an opportunity to spend more time with friends and family as we all hit the summertime slowdown with our respective jobs.

I plan to take advantage of this season and fill it with quality time and experiences.

Music

A core part of the human experience is to share the things that mean something to us with people that we care about. For me, food, music, and literature are all portals to our hearts as well as being timeless creations of humanity. Not only can we share these things with the people we care about, but these things can be shared throughout generations and connect us to our past and the people that lived before us.

How cool is it that songs, recipes, and literature can still be relevant today even years or centuries beyond their initial creation?

With that in mind, I want to share this song.

This song just compliments the sweetness of summertime, and gives me that nostalgic feeling of falling in love in the summer. Hope you enjoy!

Moments

On a more literal note of making a decision and following it through - I decided to meet my friend

Liv

(creator of

Breath Club

go check it out if you haven’t yet) for dinner after work on Friday, June 14th.

I left my place at 5:12 pm and my eta was set for 6:20pm which would get me there 10 minutes early to our dinner plan. The plan was simple: Bike to the PATH → PATH to 33rd street → Switch to the Q Train → take the Q train straight to the restaurant in Brooklyn.

I took a citi bike to the Hoboken Path Station, the path up to 33rd street, switched to the Q Train.

I was absolutely cruising until I hit the last stop in Manhattan, Canal Street, and heard an announcement, “The Q train is unable to continue. Please get off the train and look for alternative methods into Brooklyn.”

At this point, Uber was not looking like a viable option…

rush hour + surge prices = no thank you

So my only logical option was to bike to Brooklyn and then call an Uber the remainder of the way once I was there.

As soon as I got over the bridge lightning started to strike, and thunder was rumbling. I kept peddling but realized my luck was continuing to dwindle. I looked up the closest bike dock to park my bike and then call an Uber. As soon as I parked my bike a raindrop smacked me straight in the forehead and I found a small snack stand with a little overhang roof that I could stand under as I waited for my Uber to arrive.

I could not believe how narrowly I missed getting poured on while biking across the Brooklyn Bridge!

I was still feeling good even though the skies opened up, and my Uber was just 7 minutes away. I was watching my Uber get closer on the app but just as it reached one minute away, I got a notification that it canceled.

Luckily uber automatically connected me to the next nearest driver which was another 6 minutes away, but as I watched that Uber on my app zigzag through the streets with the ETA not shortening, I felt a little less optimistic this time around. That Uber decided to cancel as well… and after 4 more cancelations to follow, Liv granted me an out:

But at this point, I was in too deep and dedicated to completing the mission.

I decided my best bet was to get back on the subway.

I sprinted down to the subway station to get on the 5 train to Barclays Center Station and hop back on the Q train that was now back up and running.

The 5 train was delayed 30 minutes. by 7:26pm I was back on the Q and had to get off at Cortelyou Rd stop. Finally, I was able to take a breath as I was just minutes away from my final destination. But of course, my train did not stop. It kept going and going. I checked my live map, and the dot (representing me) was zooming far past where I was supposed to get off.

Unbeknownst to me, (without any warning) the Q train was skipping stops on June 14th as well. So, I got off at the next stop - Newkirk Plaza Station and walked the remainder of the way to the restaurant where, 3 hours after leaving my apartment, I finally got to see my friend.

Now, if you believe in signs, every sign was screaming at me not to go. But I ignored all of them, and let me tell you, despite all of the signs and obstacles, it made seeing my friend that much better.

So maybe I took the idea of making a decision and sticking to it a little too far, but I got to see one of my best friends for over 20 years, prove to her that I’m willing to go great lengths to see her, laugh our asses off about my ridiculous journey, and got an awesome story out of it.

This entire saga could have caused me great anger and frustration if I let it, but I chose to make fun of it, and kept going, and I’m really glad that I did. The accomplishment of reaching your destination after deciding to take the “first step” is an incredible feeling by itself, and the “journey of a thousand miles” to get there, makes the last step feel that much better.

Merica

What does the 4th of July mean to you?

Regardless of your current opinion of our country, I hope you choose to look at this day through a lens of positivity and gratitude.

To me, the 4th of July is a holiday that allows me to surround myself with all of the things that give my life meaning. Spending a long weekend listening to good music, eating good food, with good people. I choose to be grateful for the life I get to live here as a result to the hard decisions, and great sacrifices that many people before me have made.

Why do we wait for holidays like the 4th of July to celebrate the positives with the people that bring our lives meaning?

Similar to the vortexes in Sedona (referenced in my last post which you can read here if you haven’t already), holidays act as vehicles that we strap meaning to. Simply, they’re an excuse to celebrate, reflect with intentionality, and just feel good. To that notion, let’s start strapping meaning to more things in our everyday lives and give ourselves more excuses and intentional reasons to feel good!

In stressful and frustrating moments, take a pause, remember you have the power to wiggle your toes in your shoes, shimmy your shoulders, or do whatever rebellious act of positivity that you choose.

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Once again, thank you so much for choosing to read my thoughts and reflections - it really means a lot to me.

I encourage you to reach out to me if you found anything I wrote to be relatable, profound, interesting, or even stupid and I’d love to hear your take as well!

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